I used to feel ashamed if I felt bad about something.
If I felt fear or sadness or guilt or jealousy.. I would then feel ashamed for feeling that way. Because those were “bad” feelings and bad feelings weren’t allowed.
I don’t know why I ever felt this to be true, but I did, and so for years I would filter myself and not allow myself to feel anything other than HAPPY! JOY! EXCITED! PERFECT!
Even though I, of course, didn’t always feel like that.
There were (and still are) days when I feel fear.
Days when I feel sadness.
Days when I feel guilt.
Days when I feal jealousy.
And even days when I feel ashamed.
Only now, I allow myself to feel those feelings because I’m human (read: NOT a robot) and humans sometimes don’t feel awesome. And that’s okay.
It took me a long time to be okay with ocassionally not being okay.
I now have one simple rule that I live by:
Allow yourself to feel the way you feel. If it is not a positive feeling, you are allowed to feel it for one day. You can scream, kick, cry, be angry, feel sorry for yourself, and do whatever you feel that you need to do.
After one day, you snap the fuck out of it and move on. Consciously choose to look for the light. Seek out the positive and the positive will appear.
And this is true in so many ways, for all of us –
If you seek sadness, you will find it. On the other hand, if you seek happiness, you will find it. It’s totally up to you which one to choose.
Whatever you seek is seeking you, and it will find you, grasp you, and hold on tight until you let it go (if you want to, that is!).
Meaning: Sometimes it’s hard to let the bad feelings go. Sometimes it seems impossible. Unbearable, even. But know this –
It’s the only thing that will make you feel better. And free.
You must relax your body (physically), relax your mind, take a deep breath in, and as you release, you consciously choose to let go of that negative feeling/emotion/thought, and you replace it with something more satisfying.
When my axiety flares up big time (which is does ocassionally), there are a few things that I do to calm myself and feel centered again:
I sleep in as much as I want to
I drink my mushroom coffee (just 1 a day)
I drink matcha in the afternoon if I need more energy
I read more
I spend less time in front of the computer
I listen to more high-vibe music
I spend more time journaling
I experiment with essential oils more than usual
I allow myself to have more quiet time (just lying down and letting my thoughts go where they need to)
It makes a world of difference in how I show up each day. How I begin and end my day. How I FEEL each day.
But of course, there are still days when I want to roll over in the morning, go back to sleep, and do fuck all for the rest of the day.
There are still days when I feel like a loser. Like no one will care if I don’t show up one day, they won’t miss me or my emails, or my posts on Facebook.
And then I start to get freaked out, like what if that DOES actually happen, and then everyone stops following me, and I lose my business and then I’m broke and no one likes me and OMG OMG OMG… panic and anxiety sets back in and I have to remind myself –
Feel what you need to feel
Close your eyes
Take a deep breath
Breathe and release
Let it go
Choose a different thought/feeling
And I’m back on track again (most times.. sometimes I have to do this exercise a few times before it sticks).
There is always this incessant chatter in our heads that sends us into a tailspin in an instant if we allow it to. It tells us that no one is listening, don’t bother.
But then it contradicts itself and tells us that if we DON’T show up and say something, we’re a failure and no one will follow/like us anymore.
Right?
Good news. You don’t have to listen to this chatter. You can tune it out. You are not a slave to the voices in your head, you are simply an observer.
Observe the conversation happening inside of you, and then choose to let it go. Release and move on. Choose to ACTUALLY feel/think/be how you want.
This morning when I woke up it was dark. Cold. Raining outside. Peaceful, warm, and safe under the blankets. I thought about getting out of bed and getting a headstart on my work, like I usually do.
But before I did, I listened to my gut. My gut said to lie there. Don’t sleep, just lie there. Breathe. Visualize. Fantasize. You will get up out of bed once you’ve done these things and feel complete, and it will make your day 10x better.
I listened.
I stayed in bed. Just laid there. Took deep breaths. Focused on something I wanted and visualized is as if it were real. Fantasized about it happening. More deep breaths. And then suddenly it was quiet, my mind went blank, and I pulled the covers off of me and got out of bed.
I didn’t even think. I just did it.
Sometimes I journal on paper.
Sometimes I journal in my head, like I did this morning. 
And my gut was right, my day has been pretty freakin’ amazing so far, and it’s just getting started!
It’s easy to get sucked into a negative thought or feeling. Real easy. But you know what? It’s never EVER worth letting it disrupt your life. It’s never worth making you feel like shit.
Allow yourself to feel the feelings you need to feel, but don’t think for a second that you have to analyze those feelings and figure out why they’re happening or what you can do to “fix” them.
Just feel what you need to feel (with a time limit!), take a deep breath, and release. Move on. Get back to high-vibe.
And that’s gotta be how it is. Every day.
Because there will be always be shit that tries to stop you from pressing forward (and it’s almost always in your head), but you need to ignore it and keep pressing on.
That’s the thing with a BADASS BOSS like you –
You’ve got a message to share
A mission to complete
And no one (including the voice in your head) is gonna stop you
So long as you commit to that, commit to YOU, commit to your dreams, you really can be, do and have EVERYTHING you want. Always remember that.