ON SELF-SABOTAGE, FEAR, AND MAKING NEW DECISIONS

ON SELF-SABOTAGE, FEAR, AND MAKING NEW DECISIONS

I was just doing some journaling around fear, and something in particular that I am really afraid of right now, that I’m worried about, and that I’m trying to process. It’s something so big, so scary, so “omg, what if?”, that it made me feel physically ill.

And as I was writing, I realized that I was ALLOWING the fear to take over, I was allowing it to hold me down, and I was not allowing myself to move past it. 

I was holding on to past beliefs around it, letting them consume me and take over, instead of saying “OH HELL TO THE NO, YOU ARE NOT!” and stopping them dead in their tracks. 

I was journaling for just 15 minutes or so, when I had this big breakthrough: 

“Choose something different.”

Something so obvious.
So simple. 
So BUT OF COURSE! 

But something I wasn’t seeing because I was filtering out. All I was seeing was the fear, and so that’s what I focused on. Which meant, of course, that I wasn’t able to properly heal and move forward, and yes, choose something different. 

It didn’t take long for me to realize this sabotaging thing I was doing to myself. 

And once I realized it, I was easily and quickly able to choose something different; something that would make me feel EXCITED and not afraid. 

The process for changing a belief is like so – 

When something feels off, something IS off.
Identify it as quickly as you can. This may require journaling, meditation, someone else asking you deep questions or YOU asking yourself those questions, thinking/quiet time, or all of the above. It could take an hour, it could take a week. Don’t stop until you figure it out. It’s WORTH the time, I promise. 

Don’t try to figure anything out. 
It’s not worth your time to wonder WHY you did this thing that felt off, or why you were sabbotaging.. Or what I should say is, it’s not worth MUCH time. If you want to analyze the situation, go for it, but don’t give it much of your time, as your primary focus should be on moving FORWARD.

Make a new decision.
I’m serious - just choose to decide something different. Instead of “I am so tired”, make a decision that you feel high-energy instead. Instead of “I have so much to do”, make a decision that you feel calm and relaxed and that you always get done what needs to get done. With everything you think and say, you’re sending a message to the universe about what you want. 

Write it out and commit. 
Get out your journal and write out at least 10 affirmations for this new belief. Write them again, and again, and again, until you start to believe them. And then every day, do it again. This is what I call “healthy brainwashing”. 🙂 Trick your brain into believing you already have what you want, and once you FULLY believe it, you WILL have it. Guaranteed.

Stop looking back.
Keep your eyes on the road in front of you, not the road you’ve already driven down. You’re not going backwards, you’re moving forward, which means that there is absolutely no reason for you to look in the rear-view mirror, give yourself shit for past mistakes you may have made, wonder “what if?”, or try to figure out why anything “bad” happened to you. Stay in the NOW.

Re-commit every single day. 
There are no days off when it comes to running your life on YOUR terms and doing things in a way that makes you feel happy! You must re-commit to your new belief every single day until it just becomes “the norm”, where you truly DO believe it, 100%. At which point, it may be time to upgrade to an even better-serving belief. 😉 (Always be up-leveling!)

I KNOW the process.

I KNOW that my strategies work.

But sometimes, I flat out fucking forget. And I like to bitch and complain instead. Thankfully, I recognize this behavior pretty quickly and give myself the smackdown I need so I can get on with it and start making new decisions and choosing new beliefs. 

It’s a daily practice. 

It’s a lifetime practice.

And it’s a practice that can change EVERYTHING for the better, if you allow it to, and – 

Most importantly – 

If you FOLLOW THROUGH with it. 

I know I will. I know because I told myself I would. I know because I made the decision to do so. I know because I am committed. And I WILL do whatever it takes. Will you?