I was so excited yesterday because I was going to look at a home that I was SO SURE would be “the one”.
I looked up the area extensively before booking the appointment and confirmed that I wanted to make the drive to check it out. It was in an incredible area (one I desired to live in for years but never thought I could afford), the schools were ranked exceptionally well, and it was close to EVERYTHING (including my favourite vegan restaurant that I currently drive 40 minutes to go to each week!).
The price was under what I wanted to spend, too, which was a bonus!
But when I walked through the house, as much as I WANTED to love it, I just… didn’t.
It wasn’t like other homes I’d toured that gave me that “holy shit, this house is fucking incredible, I’d feel amazing living here!”. Instead it gave me a feeling of “it’s okay”, a feeling I tried to push to the back of my mind because OMG THE AREA, maybe I should just suck it up and accept that this is the best there is.
Maybe I am being unrealistic about what I want.
Maybe I am being a bit TOO demanding.
Maybe I just need to stop being such a diva and take what I can get.
Except… no.
I’m not willing to do that. I’m not willing to settle. I’ve never let my “unrealistic” goals stop me before and I sure as hell am not gonna stop now!
I’ve been on the hunt for my dream home for a few months now, and if I’m being honest, I was getting a little bit desperate. Which, as I’m sure you know, does NOT produce what you want. 😉
I was using the kids as an excuse, saying we needed to “hurry up” and find our new home so we could get them registered at a new school and wouldn’t need to start the new school year in our current home and then move them into a new school when we finally find the right house.
And so I thought I needed to “hurry up” and find THE HOUSE.
But rushing things was making me desperate.
And desperation NEVER works.
When I talked to my husband about the house last night, he seemed a bit scared to tell me (since he knows I want to move REALLY bad), but that he just “didn’t love it”. It didn’t give him THE feeling. You know the one, right? He just didn’t get that. And neither did I.
I realized I was trying to force something that isn’t meant to be forced.
I had to remind myself of something I teach my clients all of the time:
IF IT’S NOT A HELL YES, IT’S A HELL FUCKING NO.
So I had to say HELL FUCKING NO to a beautiful house in a beautiful neighbourhood, and although, yeah, it sucked, and I tried to convince myself that I could “make it work”, I just knew that I had to trust my gut. I had to turn it down. I had to walk away. I had to have faith that the perfect home was out there and that I would find it.
So I sent a text to the realtor and told him we were going to pass.
And I immediately felt both a mix of sadness and also relief. It was like I saved myself from a bad experience while simultaneously punching myself in the eye.
But I knew that it was the right decision.
RELEASE, RELEASE, RELEASE.
And also?
BELIEF, BELIEF, BELIEF.
You know –
You really DON’T have to settle, nor SHOULD you. (It’s a bad idea, trust me. Been there, done that.)
Your dreams and your goals may sound unrealistic to most people, but most people play at an AVERAGE level, and you don’t do average! You go against the grain, you do what others say you cannot, you do what others are afraid to even attempt.
So what’s unrealistic to them is actually pretty damn simple for you. 🙂
You want it
You believe that it’s yours
You take aligned action to MAKE it yours, every single day
And then?
Well, then it’s yours, baby!!
And that’s just how we do it. No settling for us! 🙂