“Maybe if you were prettier, you’d be more successful.”
“That’s not for people like us.”
“People won’t pay for that.”
“Why can’t you just be normal?”
“You can’t do it that way.”
“You swear too much.”
“You have to be professional.”
“You’re not funny.”
“People are already doing that. Don’t bother.”
Things people have said to me for the past 2 decades, as I built business after business, trying to find my place in the world.
I’ve been verbally abused for years. I’ve had so much hatred thrown at me just because I don’t go with the flow and I do the things that make other people uncomfortable.
The fact that I’m ME - and unfazed by how other people see me - believe it or not, has been my biggest hurdle in business.
People not liking me or the way I do things is the norm and has been for years.
But let me tell you - it’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever done. Being fully me, that is.
Because me being me is what sets me apart from the other zombie-preneurs that like to follow the rules, connect all the dots just so perfectly and paint themselves as the perfect professional.
A few months ago, with my clients at the Income Acceleration Mastermind, we talked about authenticity and why it’s so damn CRITICAL for success - how, without it, you’ll never be successful in a way that feels fun and joyful for you.
Because sure –
You can be successful by wearing a phony persona and being who you think you’re SUPPOSED to be, instead of who you truly ARE –
But that won’t be fun. You’ll dread waking up and doing your work every day and end up resenting your work and your clients.
And here’s the truth –
What I’ve learned after 20+ years of practicing being okay with just being ME –
Even after people told me that I’m not good enough –
Even after I was warned that I needed to be more reserved, more professional, more _____ (something other than what/who I was) –
IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS EXCEPT FOR YOU.
You don’t have to dress up in the perfect “what everyone wants me to do” costume for the rest of your life.
You can just be YOU –
The REAL you –
And your people - the RIGHT people - will love you for you.
Talking with my bestie Crystal this weekend, I mentioned that if people saw who we are on our own - they would never, EVER imagine us being as close as we are. We are just so DIFFERENT on the outside, as well as beliefs and how we act. (I’ve never heard the woman say a single swear word! OMG.)
But the fact that Crystal is so unapologetically herself and stands for what she believes in and won’t back down from that, is what I love most about her - even though I may not have the same beliefs as she does.
And the fact that I am so unapologetically myself and stand for what I believe in is why she loves me.
What we love about each other is that we are both so fucking real.
Your people will love you BECAUSE you’re you.
Not because you’re who you think they want you to be. (No one loves a phony!)
I still have people tell me I’m too much. I’m too loud. I’m too vulgar. I’m too aggressive. I’m too vocal.
I still get told that I need to relax. I need to take a “chill pill”. I need to not work so much. I need to be more professional. I need to “watch my mouth”.
And I don’t care.
And I “aww, aren’t you cute for thinking your opinion is going to influence my actions or beliefs”.
Because the fact of the matter is –
I am me. And I love me. And anyone who doesn’t love me for me, is not someone I want in my life.
Something to think about for yourself.