I’ve been thinking lately about what happiness looks like to me, and it’s nothing like what I THOUGHT it was back when I was a kid, looking at others and observing what appeared to make them happy.
Happy is not having a “well-paying job”.
Happy is not having “good kids”.
Happy is not living in your “dream house”.
Those things can be a PART of your happy, but just having one or two of those things is not, can not, will not ever make you happy. Because in fact, MANY things make you happy. Many things contribute to your happiness. You’re just not noticing or acknowledging them.
But one thing I’ve learned, and what I really want you to remember is that nothing can make you happy unless you know how to observe and acknowledge the feeling of what happy is.
So before you can even consider what PEOPLE make you happy, what THINGS make you happy, what EXPERIENCES make you happy, you first have to recognize what happy actually feels and looks like.
- To me, happiness is when your face changes from somber to “HOLY FUCKING SHIT, IS THIS REAL LIFE?!”.
- To me, happiness is when you hear or see someone do something negative, and 0.1 seconds later you’ve forgotten about it because you are surrounded by so much HAPPINESS, that your brain immediately dismisses everything but that.
- To me, happiness is when you wake up feeling EXCITED, looking forward to the day, practically jumping out of bed, instead of feeling anxious and overwhelmed before your feet ever even hit the floor.
Do you know what happiness looks like to you?
Do you know what it feels like?
Could you reconize it on someone else’s face? Could you recognize it on your own?
I’ve done a lot of work around my own happiness and how to have more of it. One thing I’ve learned and that’s become really apparent in my life is that happiness is truly not a destination, but an experience. You can’t just “get happy” and then “stay happy”. You have to continually work on being better at accepting happiness in your life.
This isn’t something you can learn in a day and then go implement and all of a sudden you are always happy.
No.
There will be times when you genuinely aren’t happy. Someone you love dies. You lose a ton of money. You miss your flight. You can’t sleep. You have a headache. OF COURSE you can’t feel genuine happiness when those things happen. But you can CHOOSE happiness. You can look for the best in a bad (even tragic) experience.
You don’t have to pretend to be happy. It’s not like you’re not allowed to be sad. You’re human. Sadness is a human emotion. You’re meant to feel sadness and it’s actually a GOOD thing to feel that sadness from time to time, as it reminds you what happiness actually feels like. <- The trouble with this kind of message, though, is that people take it as an invitation to STAY in sadness because they feel they are justified in doing so, and that’s a horrible idea.
You can be sad.
You can feel sadness.
That’s fine.
What’s not fine, however, is allowing yourself to stay in sadness. The longer you stay in sadness, the harder it is to get out of sadness. And I don’t want that for you.
So let’s practice being happy. Let’s bring more happiness into your life today, tomorrow, and every day thereafter.
THIS IS HOW TO BE HAPPY
★ Wake up and choose it. Choose happiness. I don’t care what annoying shit is going on in your life right now. It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday. Today you choose whether to be happy or not. Trust me, you want to choose happiness.
★ Be yourself 100% of the time. A lot of people won’t like you because of it. A lot of people won’t understand you. And a lot of people will love the shit out of you because you keep it real. But most importantly? It’s just so much EASIER to be you and not the phony version of you that you think people want to see.
★ Say what you know needs to be said to the people you know need to hear it. You will offend people. You will hurt feelings. You will have so much shit talked about you behind your back (and sometimes to your face) because of this. Do it anyway. You’re changing lives, and whether those people want to admit it or not, they need you. And again, it’s so much easier to speak the truth than it is to bite your tongue.
★ Spend time in the sunshine. Slather on the sunscreen; no one likes cancer. Soak up the rays. Remember to close your eyes, lean back, and let the sun hit your face. Feel the warmth. Breathe in the air deeply. (This is the #1 thing that makes me feel happiness.)
★ Journal. Write. Every day. Even if it’s just 2 short sentences. Clear out your head and get it onto paper (actual paper, with a pen, none of this writing on your laptop bullshit, that’s not the same). Call in the things you desire. Consider them done. Act accordingly.
★ Express gratitude for everyone and everything in your life every single day. This one simple exercise will increase your happiness ten-fold and is one of the most simple “tasks” you can do each day. Totally worth your time.
★ Surround yourself with people who build you up and make you a better person. Eliminate everyone from your life who tears you down, isn’t supportive, or is just an overall negative person. This may have to be your closest friends, family, even a parent. It won’t be easy. It will be worth it. Your happiness is worth more than staying in in a relationship that isn’t good for your soul.
★ Read books about happiness. Watch inspiring stories/videos/movies/shows about happiness. Sourround yourself with happiness (it’s infectious).
★ Listen to music. Dance. Let your body get crazy. Always dance around the house in your underwear at least once a week. Make it a ritual.
★ Take care of your body. Get massages, get your nails done. Brush your hair. Do yoga. Exercise. Wear clothes that make you feel amazing. Buy fancy underwear and wear them all the time.
★ Take care of your soul. Meditate, visualize, have time to rest and think (make “thinking time” a daily must-do activity - just 5-15 minutes a day is good!). Find pockets of quiet time and embrace them.
Every day if a gift.
Every breath is a gift.
Every second you’re alive is a gift.
The more you sit around feeling sorry for yourself, the more you allow others to dictate your emotions, the more you wallow in self-pity, and fear, and hatred, and ALL of those negative thoughts, the more happiness you’re stealing from yourself.
Stop stealing your happiness.
Give yourself permission to be happy all of the time. And then sit back, allow, and receive!