I Used To Think That My Opinion Didn’t Matter

I Used To Think That My Opinion Didn’t Matter

I used to think that my opinion didn’t matter. That I should shut up and let the “smart people” who knew better do the talking. I would hide in the back of the room at school, at work, at family events – Anywhere there was a crowd, really – And I would keep my mouth shut. If someone asked me for my opinion, I would say whatever I thought they wanted me to say, because I didn’t want to be singled out for being “different”. In all honesty, I was scared to share what I REALLY thought about what was being talked about. I didn’t want anyone to see me as an outsider because I had a different opinion than everyone else (which I usually did), so I followed the crowd and said what I thought I “should” say. And yeah, people liked me (probably because they thought I was exactly like them and felt the same way as they did about certain issues), but I always felt out of place in those relationships. Have you ever had that feeling of disgustingness when you agreed to something you didn’t actually wanna agree to? A “WHY did I just say yes to that?!” kind of feeling? When someone said something, looked over at you, and asked “right?”, seeking some kind of confirmation that they are correct, and you nodded your head and agreed, even though you felt differently? Yeah. That. I did that shit all of the time. I really didn’t like it when someone didn’t like me. It would make me all kinds of upset and I just wanted...